A few days after I had discovered the details around my husband's affair, he all of a sudden seemed engaged into making our marriage work. He had made a seemingly sincere effort to convince me of his intentions to end things with the mistress and save our family.
He felt it was critical for him to obtain a good job and become the main provider for our family so that he can respect himself and for me to respect him as well. Since I did not agree to live under two separate roofs and simply "date" each other and see how it goes, I told him I would move to New Brunswick and let him prove himself during that time and then we would see.
He stated that he still needed to go to Africa but gave me his word that he was not going to have any communication with the mistress. At the time of this discussion, I had not yet realized that she was still waiting for him in Chicago. I thought she was in Africa and was waiting for him to visit her there. Over and over he swore he would have no contact with her.
He stated that if it was up to him he wouldn't go to Africa but he was the only one who could go accomplish what was needed down there and the ticket was already booked. His ticket to fly to Africa left from Chicago on the 1st of September 2010. He told me that he would have to leave the next day by bus to get to Chicago a bit early so he could apply for banking jobs that he knew were vacant.
That didn't sit right with me. He wanted to leave on the 29th of August by bus and pay two hotel nights when he was virtually at the limit on his credit card. He insisted it was the only way he could try to get a job lined up for when he returned from Africa.
The next morning, he packed his travel bag and then packed all of his belongings and brought them to a local storage facility because I would be leaving for New Brunswick shortly and he wasn't sure if our unit would be sublet a month earlier (and we would be reimbursed our last month's rent).
He then made a lot of effort to ask me to be patient and wait for him. To not move on. To not lose hope. He was going to prove himself and make me proud. He cried. Hugged and kissed me vigourously and cried as he told Alia that "Daddy would be back". He gave me multiple hugs and kisses and then left. He returned shortly after because he had forgotten his passport. He did the whole hugs and kiss thing again and walked to the local bus terminal to purchase a ticket.
A few hours later, I received a call from him that while at the bus terminal he found a flight that was cheaper and it would bring him to Chicago much quicker. I told him that he should book the flight for tomorrow instead to save on hotel costs and to see us a bit more before we leave. He studdered as he stated that he had already booked it and was already at the airport.
All my spider senses were telling me that something was off and that I wasn't seeing the full picture. I took care of the girls all day while my subconscience tried to uncover the truth. And suddenly it did. I remembered that when I had cancelled my husband's cell phone, the call center agent had said that the specific area code for the number my husband had called most during the week prior to my giving birth was a chicago area code.
This is how I knew that she was waiting for him in Chicago. I had not realized the return date on her ticket at that time. I was overwhelmingly enraged. How could this jerk do this to me?! Why bother leading me on if he wanted the mistress..? I was already on my way out. Why try to pull me back in and become affectionate and worse promise a prompt and sure return to my daughter?!
Before leaving, my husband had guaranteed that he had not spoken to his mistress since he had decided to work on our marriage. I decided I had to get more information and that I would manipulate the call center agent into getting it.
Since my husband had his own phone now, there was no way they would give me information on the call log. Will had told me earlier that his phone was dying so he would have to charge it overnight and get back to me the next day. I decided to call the telephone service provider, explain that I had a five day old baby and I had to reach my husband urgently for him to come home but I couldn't reach him because his phone was dead.
I told him that I knew I could reach my husband via a friends number in chicago but I could only remember a few digits of the number. I gave him the digits I remembered. He asked me for the postal code on the account. I knew Will would have put the office postal code but I didn't know what it was. Without this the agent couldn't help me. I told him it was an emergency and I needed to speak to my husband. I asked him to please talk with his supervisor. During this time, I used my blackberry to look up the postal code on the company website and thank you God I found it.
Once I gave him the postal code, he was able to confirm the missing digits. I told him that there were two chicago numbers in my husbands phone record history but I wasn't sure if the one I had was the one he called twice or the one he called closer to 15 times in the last few days as this is the one I could reach him at. He said the number I had was the one closer to 15 times. So that meant that he had been in constant communication with her as he lied and played me.
I called the mistresses number and told her that I was calling to speak to Will for an urgent business matter and that he had left this number as an emergency contact if he couldn't be reached on his cell phone. The mistress said that he hadn't seen him yet since his plane was just landing and she wasn't sure which hotel he was staying at yet but that she would pass him the message when she saw him shortly.
I hung up and called Will's skype number and told him off without holding anything back. I then called the mistress back and simply introduced myself and repeated over and over in a broken voice..."how could you...we have two children...how could you". At first she said she didn't appreciate me calling her about this and that I should ask my husband not her (WHAT?!). Then she just asked if this was my home number? I replied that it was. She asked if she could call me back. I said sure but she never did.
I then called my father-in-law, a "pastor" of many years, and sobbed as I told him that Will had been having an affair for a few months and that despite me forgiving him he left me here with a 5 day old baby and made his way to a hotel room in Chicago to be with her. My father-in-law fumbled for his words and just said: "Well, what do you want me to do? I don't know nothing about this." I said: "Well I'm telling you know" and he simply said there was nothing he could do cause he wasn't there. I replied that I thought he could have offered me some help at this very difficult moment but I guess he couldn't and I hung up.
My father came to visit me and as I was telling him about all that just happened, Will called. At that moment, husband or no husband, reverence and submission were not in the picture. I yelled and told him all that he had been for years. Selfish, lazy, cruel, liar, unfaithful in the little things, rebellious, etc as I spit out example after example. He only said that I was right and that he was sorry. I spoke to him with my teeth clentched and rage in my voice. He disgusted and infuriated me. How dare he treat me so badly!? Did I ever cry that night!
The next morning, I got a call from Will's mother at 7:15 am. I had spent the night up with the newborn or crying and now was up with the eldest and I was exhausted. My mother-in-law simpy said abruptly: "Elle! You didn't want us to get into your business when you were with Will, so don't call to stress us with your problems. You knew this was going to end it was just a matter of time!" I replied brokenly: "Janet, I feel like dying inside and this is what you are telling me?!" She tried to babble on about us having our problems and me not being perfect either. I said again: "Janet, I feel like dying inside and this is what you are telling me?!". She continued and I just hung up on her.
Over the next few days, Will emailed alot and called to tell me that all that I had said was hard to hear but it really shook him up and made him realize how aweful he had been and that he decided he was going to cancel his trip to Africa and come home to me now to prove that he is even willing to sacrifice the business he had been working on for 2 years just to make things right between him and I.
He even sent an email to the lawyer asking him to legally sign me over 1 million shares. He still had 9 million to himself but he had always refused to give me any so that in itself was sign of some change. He admitted to never wanting to give me any before but that now it made him happy to do so. I had trained myself so much to live in the present and forgive as if nothing had happened that I resumed full hope of a miracle at every sign of a change in Will.
After much questionning, I was able to ascertain that he had gone to see his mistress where she lived after a 2 hour bus ride and slept with her "one more time" only but it was because he was on a mission like a secret agent. He wanted her to delete the email I had sent her because it had my picture and both the girls pictures and he didn't want her or her family to use it in a voodoo ritual to curse us. He also wanted his phone back for the same reason (the phone he had lost while he was on his ''business trip'' during our anniversary).
He felt that sleeping with her was the only way to get her to do what he wanted and it was his way of "protecting" our family. He was pleased to tell me he was able to accomplish his mission. As always, lies and stupidity. Retrieving a phone would not protect us more than submitting under God and living righteously.
Either he really believed that or he was boldly lying again but either way I knew he was messed up in his thinking and still lost to sin. I didn't want to shut the door to any sign of repentance. Getting right with God is a process and I was hoping that he was starting to cross over once and for all and that by showing him forgiveness, grace and mercy he would be moved to sincerly repent because that is what happens to me when God shows me forgiveness, grace and mercy.
As it stood, he was in Chicago trying to get money from anyone to buy a bus ticket to make his way home to me before I left for New Brunswick.
Flight: Johannesburg to Chicago
